Doulas On Call
Doulas on Call is a heartfelt and real podcast hosted by two seasoned doulas, sharing stories, wisdom, and unfiltered insights from life on call. From birth room moments to behind-the-scenes support, we explore what it really means to serve growing families with compassion and experience.
Doulas On Call
Doula Myths Debunked: What We Really Do (And Don't Do)
Misty and Tammy tackle the most common misconceptions about doulas in birth work, clarifying their non-medical supportive role distinct from midwives or obstetricians. They explore the myths and realities about what doulas can and cannot do during labor and delivery.
• Doulas are not midwives - they provide continuous non-medical emotional and physical support during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum
• Doulas enhance rather than replace the partner's role in the birth space
• Despite common beliefs, doulas support births that involve medical pain management
• Doulas cannot guarantee specific outcomes or "save" clients from unwanted interventions
• Doulas work collaboratively with the medical team rather than against them
• Financial accessibility - doulas are available at various price points including volunteer work for those who need it
If you're concerned about affording doula support, reach out to us as we know many doulas who volunteer or offer reduced rates for families in need. Everyone deserves a doula!
Thanks for listening! Always feel free to message us for more information or, if you have information you feel we should see, please send that. We LOVE to hear and learn from you!
I'm Misty and I'm Tammy and we're the doulas on call. Remember, mamas, we're not doctors, midwives or magical birth wizards. I wish just two passionate birth workers with microphones sharing personal experiences, trusted information, the best snacks for labor and a whole lot of heart. What you hear on this podcast is meant to educate, encourage and connect, but it's not medical advice.
Speaker 2:Please consult your trusted healthcare provider when making decisions about your health, your birth or anything clinical. Basically, don't sue us. We're just here to talk birth, spill some tea and share the love.
Speaker 1:Ring ring. Doulas on call. Hi guys, it's Misty and Tammy and we are back here again today. What's up Episode?
Speaker 2:two, give me some. How's your?
Speaker 1:week been Good. Yeah, it's been really good. Busy Actually, no, it's been kind of a slow one.
Speaker 2:Okay, let me rephrase that Busy in person, busy in person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, for birth it's not been very busy right now, which is good. If you would have asked me this a couple weeks ago, that would have been different, because I had, I think, six in 11 days.
Speaker 2:That's right, but it's been kind of a lull for the last, I think my last birth was on the 7th Okay, so it's been kind of a lull for the last.
Speaker 1:I think my last birth was on the 7th Okay. So it's been a little lull. Now I am expect, and today, just for math, is the 19th, so that's 12 days. Yeah, yeah, but I do have a sweet client who is due next week and having signs of labor. But, how about you?
Speaker 2:How's it been for you. Busy, busy. I feel like I'm always busy, yeah, in a good way. Yeah, right if I'm not like. I've had three in the last three weeks. They've, they've all mined their manners and taken turns all those babies.
Speaker 1:When we say they mind their manners, we're really talking about the babies totally.
Speaker 2:We're not talking about the people, it's all it's all the babies.
Speaker 2:They have no control, right um. But yeah, it's been busy and and very good. I think that the busy part is more communication. So, like right which? But? But we're different, like that. Just fyi, not all doulas do this. We offer unlimited support, so if you sign a contract with us, you can talk, call, text, email, right um, we get to assess what's an emergency or not. But yeah, I feel like um that that keeps me busy communicating which brings me to the topic of misconceptions of a doula but you know that dun but you know, that is like one misconception.
Speaker 1:It's like oh gosh, so you only work like four days a month, right, right. Because if you only take four births, you're only working four days. Oh no, we work every day.
Speaker 2:Every day.
Speaker 1:So you know, we have no hours, we have no like set hours.
Speaker 2:There's no set hours.
Speaker 1:So it's absolutely not your.
Speaker 2:You know we're there for the birth and then we're bye, then we're bye-bye nope, definitely, definitely not the case for for us.
Speaker 1:But yeah, we're gonna dig into some like misconceptions and I'm really curious to see about doulas, misconceptions about doulas.
Speaker 2:Yes, the false, like, false. Like what people think. Also, if you didn't tune into our first groundbreaking episode, yeah, please, go back. Hit rewind, hit rewind, go back.
Speaker 1:Like subscribe.
Speaker 2:Whatever podcast you're listening to. Yeah, yeah, there's so many. I feel like these are the questions we get asked the most, and sometimes most of them, the people that hire us actually ask these as well.
Speaker 2:I think they hire a doula, and then they I'm like oh wait, nope, that's not true here, let's back up right, right. Um, but I think I get fielded these questions mostly by my peers or people that I meet. Um, if we're out, you know, on a date or couple's date, and they're like oh my gosh, you do every time you do.
Speaker 1:And then, oh my gosh, it's fast forwarded to their birth and baby oh my gosh, every time, right, I go out with anybody, you know, my husband's friends, even gosh, even my husband's 96 year old grandma. Every time I see her it's like any babies, any births. And then we, you know we've talked about hers, so oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that that's one thing I love about our job is that everybody's always interested and that's super cool.
Speaker 1:What would you say is like the number one misconception of a doula that you think um is a misconception, misconception I think the biggest one is that we're the same thing as a midwife.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like they just assume that I'm a midwife, right? Um, people that not the people that hire me, because they they clearly have an idea they understand that, but I think the biggest overall misconception about doulas is that they're the same as a midwife, and and that could not be farther from the truth.
Speaker 1:So tell me then, how is a doula different than a midwife?
Speaker 2:Let's educate, yeah absolutely the biggest difference is that we are non-medical right. So a midwife you hire a midwife to deliver your baby. You have a choice you can be with an obstetrician or you can be with a midwife, um, and they will actually deliver the baby right and do all of your medical care.
Speaker 1:Right and do all of your medical care. Yeah, we don't do any medical care non-medical, non-medical, hundred thousand percent emotional non-medical.
Speaker 2:Do we have to understand all the medical? Let me think, uh, yeah, if you don't. If you don't, you're, you're up the creek. Yeah, that is not a good doula you should. A good doula will understand. Yes.
Speaker 1:You're? Yes, absolutely. Um, a good doula should really understand the clinical aspect of things. Um, we may not be trained, as in you know, we may not have our medical degree, but we should understand the process so we can support our clients in the best way you know, possible yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so we're, you know. The reality is, we're offering non-medical, emotional, physical. We're physical, we're hands-on and information during all of your, you know, prenatally, during your entire birth and your postpartum. We, you know, we do the massage. We can, you know, offer you comfort measures during the things Like your midwife's not doing that. I also, you know this goes hand-in-hand with that right that they really don't understand.
Speaker 2:One of my clients asked me said to me do you get this comment? I get this comment all the time. How do people do this without a doula?
Speaker 1:Oh, all the time.
Speaker 2:How to do this or.
Speaker 1:I get. What would we do if you weren't here?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I think they don't understand it in the birth space that the midwife is doing the medical and you have nurses love our nurses but they can't sit there with you. They're not there. There's there's no continuity of care in the sense of you hire somebody, there's five or six providers, um, and you're kind of like a roulette. Which who we're going to see? Today it's very rare that you see the same person at the same time and I think my clients really don't understand that then in the birth space that that provider is genuinely coming in at the end to deliver your baby and there's so many gaps of time where they're like like I had one client look at me recently and they were understaffed at the hospital. God bless them. It was awful, it was so busy and this client needed a lot extra, but I was in that space the whole time, right, and they just couldn't believe how, um, nobody came in.
Speaker 2:like like they were, just like yeah and I and I always tell them that's a great thing. That means your baby is, yeah, amazing like this. Is clear on that. It's not that they're not coming in because they're not. There's nothing wrong.
Speaker 1:Or that they're not doing their job Correct Exactly If they're not coming in, that's a great sign. It's a great sign. That's a great sign. But yeah, having somebody who can support you Physically, emotionally, from pregnancy all the way through, like we constant of your care team. Yeah, we spend the most time with you, right, then, um, then you're OB, then your midwife, then your nurse, like we spend the most amount of time with you during that process than anybody else.
Speaker 2:But we are not midwives we are not midwives. We are technically not Not yet, not yet, we might be someday yeah.
Speaker 1:That's definitely a topic that I go back and forth with all the time. But, maybe that'll be another episode. Maybe we can talk about that Same Same but yeah.
Speaker 2:So I would say what would you say is the next, like what's one for you?
Speaker 1:I would say that I don't need a doula because I have a good partner.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's a big one. So that doulas replace the partner, yeah. Or the partner will say, oh, you don't need a doula because I'm there, or they feel threatened Right Like the wife's all gung-ho and you get on the consultation Right and you're like. You meet like the guy the dad's like or their partner, whoever.
Speaker 1:It is not necessarily and they're like, hmm, you know, skeptic, yeah, yeah. So I would say that's the biggest misconception. Um, we absolutely do not replace the partner or a good doula should not let. Okay, yeah, right Um so I don't ever like walk in the birth space and you know, see this uh partner squeezing um get over here, get out of there.
Speaker 2:You're doing that wrong. Let me show you how it's done. Exactly, but no um, but haven't you had a mom?
Speaker 1:be like Missy can you come here? Oh my gosh, I've had it where I squeeze the hips and then I leave for a second to like go get a drink and come back in and her husband is squeezing and she's like you're not saying it right, Misty, or she'll say yeah, not fair but that's where misty did it, you know so.
Speaker 1:No, um, but yeah, what do you say? Yeah, what do you tell them? This isn't my first time, you know. This is your first time, this is not my first time I know, but um well, what do you tell them when?
Speaker 2:when the dads are, are, are, I feel like I don't know. I think mom's at both the whoever's brilliant gives that that's a very standard question, I get. It must be on like when you google what to ask your doula in very standard question. I get it must be on like when you google what to ask your doula in an interview oh, I think it is.
Speaker 1:It's always, I'm sure it is on theirs, you know. Or how will you work with my partner? Yeah, um, I feel like I, you know, when they ask me those things is I should enhance the uh you, the connection and the relationship that you have together. I can't take that role right.
Speaker 2:Totally. You know I'm not. Or do we want to Right I'm good, yeah, I can't.
Speaker 1:I can't take that role. So I feel like I enhance their natural connection and relationship. Sure, natural connection and relationship, sure, I take away a lot of the pressure from you know, um, from the partner, to like have to perform, because a lot of you know a lot of partners, especially male partners, they're, they're, it's just ingrained in them to protect um, they have to like know exactly what to do or fix it they.
Speaker 2:They just want to fix. They're fixers.
Speaker 1:Exactly, they just want to fix it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's not a bad thing. You just have to redirect the fixer.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Like do this, try this.
Speaker 1:Right yeah, so I would say that would be the number one that I see. Misconception Sure.
Speaker 2:That would be a number one. Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah, what about you? What else? What else do you think? Um, I think another one. But I get this a lot that they think that, um, I'm gonna do the cervical checks right or that I can like, if I come during the prenatal, that I'm, I can tell, okay, that that's kind of too, there is a misconception, that I know when your baby's going to be born. Yeah, yeah, I'm like uh are you a wizard?
Speaker 2:oh man, I do. I. This is my standard joke. I'm like gosh. I really wish I had a magic eight ball, but I realized like, generationally, nobody knows what I'm talking about. Like the eight ball that you shake.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, magic eight ball, magic eight ball. Let me shake it when will you have today try again you know, um but I always joke and say if I knew when you were gonna have this baby yes, oh yeah, I would be rich and live on an island somewhere.
Speaker 2:Mine is not mine is if I could answer. If I could answer that question, because they do ask oh, so do you think they?
Speaker 1:ask time frame, they ask like how much longer do you think?
Speaker 2:how much longer yeah um, that is another miscarriage like that. I actually have any way of gauging that whatsoever right, and when they say that to me I always go. If I could answer that I would be on a beach yeah same, with a corona and a lime and and I would invite you. I would totally invite you. Yeah, but yeah not.
Speaker 1:Mine would be a spicy margarita. I would not be here. I would not be here. No, you go beer. No I go spicy margarita, I'm so white. You can't see through the mic hey, but you did Corona. You said Corona, corona. You did not say Bud Light. I said oh, Of course.
Speaker 2:I'm just kidding, but yeah cervical checks Like cervical checks. I kind of wish we could, though I do too, like I know I'd be lying if I said I didn't. Don't get me wrong. Like.
Speaker 1:I'm all about like hands off.
Speaker 2:You know if a mom is like Sure, sure like hands off. You know, if a mom is like sure, sure, you know not wanting circle checks believe me, but when they're necessary, I wish we could sometimes I wish I could. Yeah, I wish I could, especially when you're waiting, those moments where you're waiting for the midwife or or the ob, whatever birth space you're in, and you know, you know you're close. They're close, yeah, like you know, and they're doubting themselves and they're doubting themselves, and they're doubting themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you just want to be like let me just show you how real, this is yeah. I always tell my clients so you're the best monitor. But yeah, there are times I really wish at some point we'll be able to do those.
Speaker 1:So I have to tell you, I have to tell you a story, and everyone else out there um won't say names, but I was at a local hospital that I've done many births here before and this uh, nurse, uh, is a male and he was telling me he was doing a cervical check and he's like, oh yeah, it's like a little bit of lip here, lip meaning like anterior lip on the cervix.
Speaker 2:Gotcha Not quite all the way down and I was like trying to understand where this was.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, okay, I'm trying to picture that. And he's like, well, do you want to check? And I'm like, do?
Speaker 2:I have it Shut the front door.
Speaker 1:They got you. I didn't, it was my client.
Speaker 2:Like, like oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I looked at, I looked at my client and I was like, don't worry, I'm not gonna do that, because, oh, I know how bad would that be. But I was just like, oh my gosh, you want to teach me how to do a cervical check? I really want to learn how to do a cervical check, man, but I know that it's not in my job so, darn, not my job description misconception, hashtag right misconception yeah, if you're, if your doula shows up and she's like I don't think that's like a red flag like, do not hire that person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, I don't think I've ever had a provider do that definitely like warm compress definitely. Hey, hand me that helpful in the field, all those things I have helped retract before oh so so for repairs. What we can talk about that at another time sometime, but like for repairs, so for like a perineal tear or something Amazing.
Speaker 1:So I've helped, like the OB retract, and so I've done that.
Speaker 2:With permission, obviously, but yeah, I love it. So yeah, we do not do cervical checks, we do not do medical care, this is a big kicker, huge, huge, huge, huge I'm going to let you say it the last, biggest misconception.
Speaker 1:Oh, the last biggest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to let you say it, because this is really important. Yeah, get your pen and paper.
Speaker 1:Write this down. Yeah, I want you to write this down. If you have a doula, oh man, Right. So so if you have a doula, I really want you to write this down. I really want you to put this in the back of your mind. We cannot save you.
Speaker 2:Right, even when you're yelling, save me Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we can't save you, and what that?
Speaker 2:means From what, so we?
Speaker 1:can't save you from, you know, having a birth that you don't want.
Speaker 2:Right yeah.
Speaker 1:Or we can't save you from providers. That's another one. The misconception. We didn't even think about that I think that's the biggest one.
Speaker 2:That is the biggest one and that is what's going to set us apart on a lot of these podcasts, right, because I think a lot of people just assume that they have to hire us because they have fear, yeah, and they think they need us to save them from the medical system?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and what?
Speaker 2:are you asking that person? If they say to what's the first question you say? To ask them if they say that, why do you feel like you need saved? Why do you feel like you need saved?
Speaker 1:Because if somebody, comes to need saved. Because if somebody comes to me like talk about red flags, like that's a red flag to me because really sad I, I wouldn't want a doctor like I wouldn't want a doctor like you know. Um, in any aspect of my life, any type of that, I feel like I can't saving from. Yeah, I feel like I need to save from them.
Speaker 2:That's like red flag, like leave, go Another doctor, we're not saying they're not out there, like I'm not. I think I should point out I'm not saying that they're not out there, right? I don't want to discredit that because. I will say we have a lot of great doctors in Colorado.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not going to discredit that, because I will say I have worked with doctors that I wanted to save my client from Exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no for sure. Which sounds so ironic? It sounds ironic, but no, you're not kidding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but, um, but that is one thing, like Tammy said, that you know will set us apart is you. You know in a lot of these um podcasts, and for good reason.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say no, absolutely I don't, I don't, just yeah, I totally agree it's totally set up like, hey, we need to, uh, fight the system or we need to. I don't want to say fight the system, maybe that's not the right word to say but um, fix, um, fix the system. Yeah, yeah, there's definitely. So I can't fix those things Right, I can't, I can't change what your doctor, um, is recommending. Um, you know, I can't. I can't save you from not having or, I'm sorry, I can't save you from having a birth that you didn't envision, or I can't save you from a C-section. I can't save you from having a birth that you didn't envision, or I can't save you from a C-section.
Speaker 1:No, I can like going back to you know.
Speaker 2:Educate, educate, exactly Educating In that way. Educate, advocate, hand in hand right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but in that way. You know, I can't physically just show up to your birth and make any guarantees of anything.
Speaker 2:I also tell my clients to and I always say this during the consultation that I really have zero ego in your birth space. It has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 1:You have no agenda. No agenda Other than going in and supporting them, and no ego.
Speaker 2:So I am there. You know, prenatally, we will talk about it, we'll discuss it. You can ask me who should like. I had a client texting me all day today hey, this is my insurance. It changed. These are the providers that I have available to me and you know we're having this real.
Speaker 2:You know she's just pregnant, she's just planning, and the fact that she knows she has a choice a is huge number one, right, like, isn't that what you first ask in consultations? Like you know you have a choice. Yes, please know you have a choice. Yes, like you said, if you're asking that, then I'm asking why? Why do you feel like that? Why are you with that person? Yeah, um, and and trying to determine what you want your birth experience to look like, and and is it guaranteed? No, but there are certain things you can do to set yourself up for success, starting with your provider, starting with the person you choose to help. You have this baby and I'm going to help do that. But I have no way I'm going to march in there, get on my soapbox and be like this, this, this this.
Speaker 1:We're having this baby god through the vagina right, because how does that help you, uh?
Speaker 2:not at all right, right, and it only makes you second guess yourself and it only makes it about me, yeah and what I think, and it's not about me at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no so it's not about us.
Speaker 2:I I love that. Yeah, we cannot save you. That's hard. I think that's a hard pill to swallow for a lot of moms. I know Especially our, because we so wish we could. Oh, believe me, I so wish All the time.
Speaker 1:There are times like I'm like crying, like I'll leave the birth room, I'm like I gotta go. Like sobbing, you know, because you, just you see these things happening and you so? Badly want to change them, but you know, like you said, you know your analogy. It's so true, you know, the baby isn't the baby's driving that bus, the baby is driving that bus.
Speaker 2:And head coach. Yeah, you can't, you can't. It's wild and there's some you cannot control. I think that's a bigger topic, but you just can't control it. Yeah, it makes me sad and yet I'm hopeful. I do see a huge shift in certain things. I'm sure you do too. I'll be so discouraged about one thing and then I walk away. I got a birth this weekend that was just phenomenal and zero intervention and her needs were met, met and her voice was heard Amazing. And the midwife was magical to the upteenth degree. Where you walk away from those and it just renews everything and you're like, oh my God, it gives you so much hope, fills your cup Big time.
Speaker 1:Overflowing.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh Fills your cup. Such an amazing feeling. Yeah, big time overflowing. Oh my gosh fills your cup. Such an amazing feeling. Um, yeah, I was gonna say too, I think. I think that the misconception also part plays a part in how providers see us oh gosh, yeah, yes, because um there's a huge misconception about what doulas right do, because, oh, they only do a medicated birth just like any field.
Speaker 2:They oh, that's a big one. Talk about that. Yeah, we didn't talk about that, but people assume yeah, people assume that it's only you know.
Speaker 1:Unmedicated birth, like hey. If you want an epidural, like we support that, yeah, what? What percentage just?
Speaker 2:oh my god, would you roughly Okay? So you have 10 births, okay, how many are unmedicated?
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Well, let me just go off what I've had this year, because I've done that.
Speaker 2:Show off.
Speaker 1:Okay, so let me go off what I've had this year. I'm not going to go off what I've had this year. All right, so I have had it's March, by the way.
Speaker 2:I've had 13 births this year. Oh my gosh Nice.
Speaker 1:I know I did my head. I've had 13 births this year and 10 of them were unmedicated. Wow Okay, that's huge yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's not what I was going to expect.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is not the norm, but what I would say.
Speaker 2:Well, mine is bigger this year too. Actually, yeah, but what I would say? Well, mine is bigger this year too actually.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. What do you think yours is? I've had four, four unmedicated, uh-huh. And then how many?
Speaker 2:medicated.
Speaker 1:Twelve, twelve total.
Speaker 2:Twelve total.
Speaker 1:So okay, oh, my gosh, I have to go.
Speaker 2:Look, that's terrible. No, I should know. I love you all. I love you all, I promise. I think my point is that, genuinely, like I keep saying, genuinely, knock that out of my mouth the majority of birth that we support is medicated.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so this year, like Tammy said, that's not fair. I don't know just the way it worked this year, all of a sudden, yeah, but I would say it's truthfully. The majority are either medicated or what will happen? Is they reach out? They're like, yeah, we're really wanting an unmedicated birth, but we're open to a medicated birth.
Speaker 1:That's right For sure. So I would say the majority that reach out ask that's what they want, sure, sure. And then you know it might be like 50% Right. You know of those people that reach out Right that actually do the unmedicated Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I would agree with that. Back to you know originally misconception. You know tammy saying like something about you know providers um you know that providers don't like doulas or they'll recommend us only if the client doesn't want intervention, when in reality we're needed right in all birth space, absolutely home birth hospital. Yeah, I always joke. I say to they're like oh, if some like friends and relatives are like, oh, so do you, are you at like home? And they instantly get stink eye.
Speaker 1:You know like you do home birth, oh my god, and I'm like, honestly, I follow my client.
Speaker 2:I'm independent, so I follow wherever my client wants to give birth, literally, yep, and I always joke hospital, home, birth center, hopefully not car. You know, that's my goal Toilet, toilets, oh so many almost toilet babies. Yeah, remind me to tell that story. But yeah, I think that is a huge misconception and, like any other trade or field or job, there are some doulas that give us a bad name. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:They are not Like everything. I've had doulas that I know in the community that have been banned from certain hospitals Because of it. So you know the best thing we can do for our clients. Knock it off ladies, but the best thing we can do for our clients is like truly just supporting them. Yeah, I have a saying that I tell my clients. You know, when they asked me, you know how will you work with the birth team?
Speaker 1:Oh that's the phrase there is team right Totally. We need to be on the birth team. Um, that's the the phrase. There is team right totally. We need to be on the same team. You can't win a game by. There's no I in team. There's no I in team, but you can't you can't win a game when the teammates aren't playing. No, together.
Speaker 2:No, like right. Yeah, there's no. There's no I in team. There really is no I in team. Yeah, that comes back to there's no I in team. There really is no I in team. Yeah, that comes back to there's no ego in the birth space I I. What's really okay? So bring talk about this for a hot second, because we have time. Have you been in a birth where your clients are totally fine but you are not fine, like like with the team?
Speaker 1:Oh, with the team, so team being okay.
Speaker 2:birthing person, birth partner, mom, dad, whatever doctor, nurse, charge nurse, name, some other people that could be in the team.
Speaker 1:Changing, shifting. I'm just going to say assistants, that's pretty good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, and one of the nurses will come in and I'm just like ugh, like her, her. We have a few hers.
Speaker 1:Oh no right we have a few hers. Oh, no, we have a few hers, yeah and yet my client is blissfully unaware.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, and as she should be oh, absolutely right.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that's the biggest. Don't stay, my clients have no idea, like when I'm like, oh my gosh, that just walked in, like seriously, oh, and they're they're saying, like I've had nurses say the most outrageous things.
Speaker 2:Some of them like that should be an episode note to self. Um, for things you hear in the birth space, not just from the person who's having a baby, yeah, um, but there's been times like that too where I'm just like, oh gosh, darn it. Um, and and misconception, you know, is that we are gonna like step in and take over and I didn't like what she said, so now I'm gonna take charge when my client.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna kick her out. I'm gonna fire her.
Speaker 2:I'm you're fired yeah, when in reality my client's blissfully unaware and they're happy and they walk away from it yeah, not knowing none the wiser Like none.
Speaker 1:The wiser Right right you can't ever let you know your client know that. You know you're feeling that, because I also don't ever want to like project my own emotions and feelings Because like blissfully unaware, or they could really like that nurse, oh right.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's happened, that's totally happened. And I'm like, how do you like her? But you know, but they click, yeah, absolutely, and it's all about them. Yeah, so there you go.
Speaker 1:I thought of a really quick one, Tammy, before we go today.
Speaker 2:Talk really fast. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:But another really quick one is that doulas are too expensive, or that doulas doulas are too expensive or that doulas, um, I can't have a doula because I don't have. Yeah, you know the means. The means are any money. Um, what I will say is that you can always find a doula. If you are listening to this, if you feel like I need a doula, I can't afford a doula. How am I gonna?
Speaker 2:find it like please, please, please.
Speaker 1:We will reach out to us because we know doulas in the community that, um, either they're newer and they need the experience, or maybe they're not newer and they just want to do volunteer births. I personally take um we always do that. I do right, yeah, um so it's their finances should never stand in your way of having a doula. You can always find those doulas. And then, yeah, of course, you can find the doulas that charge more money, and they should because of their experience. Absolutely, but definitely don't not have a doula.
Speaker 2:Everyone should have a doula. It's also a really good gift, like if you know someone who's pregnant and they think they can't afford a doula, but you know they're going to have a baby shower or they're going to do a registry Like. I've had clients where I was literally a gift to them from their family, yeah.
Speaker 1:Or for multiple people, for birth. They put a fund Totally. For birth and or postpartum care. Yeah, for a night nanny, um and it, what a gift. Yeah, I wanted that gift. Yeah, I know right, I needed that for 72 hours of being home.
Speaker 2:But but yeah, no, you're right, you can always afford a doula. So yeah, yeah, and let us know any like anything that we missed.
Speaker 1:Um, if you are a, doula um, because we hope that doulas are listening too.
Speaker 2:please listen um If you are a doula, because we hope that doulas are listening too, please listen.
Speaker 1:But if you are a doula and you're like, hey, this is like a misconception, I know Agreed, like, let us know, do it. We'd love to hear from you guys. So it's always a joy, yeah, and we hope that you enjoyed this episode. Talk to you next time we time. We will chat with you soon.
Speaker 2:Bye have a great week.
